Being
unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is
a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has
nothing to eat. ~ Mother Teresa.
Do you have people in your life you so desperately wish you could do away with them completely? Like a student who is so disrespectful? Or a follower who does nothing but critize? Or a friend who has a terribly annoying character? Someone you consider doesn't deserve love at all? Yes! That's exactly the person am refering to - the unlovables.
Well as much as they are unlovables, we still owe them a responsibility of not letting their in ability to inspire love and affection get in the way of showing geniune love and care to them.
How? That is the reason for sharing this post - loving the unloved. Here is how to begin [am not saying it will be easy, but it will be worth it, if you can develop just a superflux amount of patience]:
Understand why they act the way they do by considering their background and life experiences. Sadly, negative events or the way a person was raised can shape people negatively. Like the old saying goes, you can’t really understand someone fully until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. Also keep in mind that all human beings are fallible, and we all have our own weaknesses or faults.
Pray for them. This, of course, is what Jesus tells us to do. And it really is amazing how praying for someone or something causes our own heart
to change for that person or issue. When we sincerely pray for someone,
we begin to have a heart for that person, a true concern for their
well-being and a desire for their highest good. It may be difficult, at
first, to pray for a mean or unlovable person. But prayer is exactly
what a person like that needs, don’t you think? And remember, God can
work miracles, so don’t give up on someone or write them off as
hopeless.
Look at them through God’s eyes
What do I mean by that? As I mentioned before, sometimes certain
experiences in a person’s life change who they really are, or harden
their heart. Everyone has an original design –
qualities and gifts that God gave us when He created us. Unfortunately,
when a person is wounded or broken, they aren’t walking in their
original design. So try looking at people through God’s eyes, and see
the person God created, rather than the hardened person they have
become.
Impart God’s love and grace.
We all know how difficult it can be to love certain people. This is
where we need to choose to love them, with God’s love. Remember that all
people are created in God’s image, and He loves even that person you
see as unlovable. So we can be a vessel of God’s love. This is what
changes hearts and wins people for God. It is God’s goodness and
kindness that leads people to repentance (Romans 2:4),
not arguments, lectures or “punishing” people by the way we treat them.
So if you want that unlovable person to change, a good start is to love
them with God’s love.
Forgive them. Yes, it
can be very difficult to forgive people who have hurt us. But do you
really want to live with anger, bitterness and resentment? As
Christians, we are commanded to forgive others, as God forgave us. (Eph 4:32)
Keep in mind, forgiving people doesn’t mean condoning their actions. It
means letting go of your bitterness and resentment toward that person,
or a desire for revenge, and handing it over to God. Let God do His job.
Forgiveness changes our own heart and attitude and it allows us to move forward and be right with God.
Treat them the way you like people to treat you.
This is another action that changes hearts. Treating an unlikeable
person the way you like to be treated has a way of changing the
spiritual atmosphere, instead of continuing the cycle of negativity.
This goes along with operating in the opposite spirit, as I talked about
in a previous post.
Even if you feel they don’t deserve kindness, treating them the way you
like to be treated or moving in the opposite spirit plants a seed with
people, and sometimes causes them to rethink their own actions, as the
Holy Spirit brings conviction. Imagine a world where everyone practiced
the Golden Rule. We can start by practicing it ourselves.
Serve them. “Serve
them?” you ask. “Are you crazy, I don’t even like being around this
person!” Yes, serve them, the way Jesus served others, which teaches us
about love and humility. Serving someone is one way of showing love, and
a sincere act of servanthood can soften hearts and plant a seed with
people, that can later grow.
