29 October, 2020

Do Not Worry About Failures
Happy Daniel03:00 0 Comments

 



“Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try.” — Jack Canfield


"Why don't you also try?". That is the question I asked myself this morning as I sat at my office desk typing the minute of a meeting I just attended. I was talking to myself again, "why don't you try?". 


I have seen Ads on competitions - short story writing, essay writing, graphics challenge, video editing challenge and on and on and on. I have seen social media post from people who I suppose "are making things happen in their lives" compared to me participating in competitions and regularly coming out as winners.


Their story inspires me. It does. In a way that makes me sometimes beat myself up for not doing much with my life. (Sad right?)


Now I am also asking you that same question I was asking myself this morning as I wrote that minutes of meeting, Why don't you also try winning that essay writing competition?. Why don't you also try out in that debate? Why don't you also try out the short story writing competition? Why don't you also try out the music competition? Why don't you also try out that 'whatever-you-are-good-at' things you get to hate yourself at the end of the day for not trying out? Why haven't you tried out that relationship yet? Why don't you try out for that new job role?


I think I know the answer and I will tell you shortly why. But let me tell you this first, you have to agree to be honest with yourself like I was this morning when giving an answer to the question of "why not also try?". 


I believe that being honest with yourself and telling yourself the truth will help you get better results that living a lie. It is either you are here or not. It is either you are intentional about your results or not. There are no grey areas in life and it is sad most people don't know it. Maybe, I'll write about that some other day.


So, why don't you also try? To be honest, somewhere deep down - maybe so deep that it is buried under a lot of ruse - YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN'T WIN! Deep down you believe your a loser and that if you tired, you'll come out a failure. You believe deep down that if you tried and failed, you will be mocked for failing. You tell yourself these and many more stories to sooth yourself.


Most people who have succeeded even with the worst of condition just as yours have done so not because they were dealt that card they had hoped for. but instead the took the card they were dealt and played their hand. And it was not a feeble attempt at success.


Here is the thing, time is running out. You are telling yourself you’ll do it when you settle down and get married, when you get divorced, when the kids are older, when the kids are not living at home anymore. 


When you end up where you don’t want to be, you will remember that there was a day like today when you could see ahead clearly, you knew what you wanted from life. You were ready to start. But just not today. Maybe tomorrow. Life gets in the way. A few years pass by. You look in the mirror. Your face has a few more lines. Your hair is either white or gone. 


One can work with the physical changes, you can still vaguely recognise yourself. But the changes in your mind take some time to get used to. You try to rationalise to yourself and all you feel is regret. I should have.


Try! Also try! Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street. It was Mark Twain who said, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

23 October, 2020

#EndSARS: The Way Forward and The New Nigeria
Happy Daniel06:59 0 Comments


"Nigeria is what is what it is because it leaders are not what they should be". | Chinua Achebe

I honestly believe that life will give us whatever we ask of it.
Napoleon Hill said, “Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to demand abundance and prosperity, than is required to accept misery and poverty.”
It takes pains to stay a third world country, we might as well choose to take the pain to become a first world nation . We have paid a price to maintain poverty and suffering, but we might as well pay the same price to maintain affluence and success as a nation.
Africa was always called the Dark Continent, not because of the colour of the skin, but because of the poverty of their minds. But the time has come for us to make the difference and we will.
Life will never pay us more than we bargain for. Life is as hard as it is because we have decided to settle for less than we know we deserve. We congregate around the strong in a bid for safety and security. But this has only led us one place, and that is where we are today.
And as you know social relationships automatically define themselves in relation to strength and weakness; leadership and follower-ship, because of the human tendency to protect or seek protection.
And so, the weaker congregate around the stronger to be protected. And this feeling of security heightens the weaker’s ability to function socially. And so, naturally, the stronger demands further submission and allegiance, while defining the limits of freedom of the weaker of the species. This ought not to be so.
In the words of a great Man, "Democracy is beautiful, if and when a State achieves nationhood. Until and unless a State has transited from statehood to nationhood, the gains of democracy, if at all present, will be minimal. And this is the dilemma of many African countries who have embraced democracy.
Many in their bid to salvage their situation championed nationalism instead of pursuing nationhood. It is made clear that nationhood and nationalism are neither synonymous nor do they serve the same purpose.
Though nationalism in its true and positive sense is laudable, it is important for us to realize that in our world today, savage nationalism is the same spirit of racism, resulting in such despicable acts of the American black history, South African Apartheid, and ethnic cleansing of Eastern Europe, and [Central] Africa’s Rwanda.

These evil are the result of nationalism where it is defined by blood, language, culture and history. We have to realize that nationalism, where it is so defined by our relationship through language, or culture or blood, has only led men to their untimely graves and fractured societies.
Our nation will not escape such fractures if we define ourselves according to our historical origins rather than our purpose, our vision. This perversion of Nationalism is the absence of national purpose; in many nations today, through Nationalism, we have a disguised resurgence of medieval tribal wars.
Nationhood is different.

14 July, 2017

Why People Leave Our Lives Or Stay Forever
Happy Daniel14:36 0 Comments


Have you been trying to understand why the people who at one time so much loved you and cared so much for you left you suddenly? Have you been stuck trying to figure our why they even came into your life and make it into such a bliss only to leave it, shattering the entire reality of the bliss? Have you spend night after night crying yourself to sleep asking yourself why why why? What did it happen? Why did it have to end? What did you do wrong? And on and on and on and on...

One of the things that makes breakup or divorce so hard is the fact that we just can't seem to understand why they decided to live, even when, for us, everything seemed so OK and perfect. We keep going over the love and shared emotions and beautiful moments in our heads again and again and again, longing for it and wondering what we did wrong. This reality is not only true for breakups and divorce, it hold same for the death of a loved one. There is nothing that comes so close to making in a fleeting moment value the place a person occupies in our live like the moment when we just lost someone we loved or who so loved us to the cruelty of death. Nothing on earth teaches such importance. 

But you need to understand something about all of this: people are only in our lives for 3 reasons. Either to be a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime

It is never easy, and it doesn't get easier as time go by. There will always be tears, followed by sadness, and sometimes just a deep feeling of loneliness. You keep in contact for awhile and then one day one of you just stops writing. There maybe no fights, no reason, you both just stopped. I learned that friends come and go, and your life goes on. Anyone else out there experience the same thing? Ever wonder why? Perhaps this poem will shed some light on things for you:


Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. 
Unknown

30 May, 2017

The Gift Called TODAY!
Happy Daniel23:30 0 Comments


"The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today." - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

The month is at it end again! Have you stopped so far to ask yourself this one question whose answer may be the revolution you have always needed - "WHERE ARE YOU HEADED? WHERE ARE YOU GOING? IS THIS ALL YOU CAME TO LIVE FOR?"

Where are you going with all these? Where are you headed in this precious life? Where do you hope to arrive in the next 2 years? Where do you hope to arrive in the next 5 years? Where do you hope to arrive in the next 10 years? 20 years? 50 years? Or is your story just going to be told as told of those who came to this earth, only existed and never really lived, died and took all they came with to the cemetery?

Maybe no one told you, where you are headed is more important than how far you get there! Starting small is better than not starting at all. You can't change yesterday but you can change today. The price you will pay for settling for less than you could have been will be worse than one you would have paid if you had tried one more time, and you are bound to pay it all your life. If it didn't work Yesterday, who says it can't work Today?
What is holding you back? Your excuses? Your stories? Your negative habits? Your attitude? Your Character? Why are you still waiting? Make the decision to stop making excuses. If you always make excuses, you’ll always have one. Don’t wait for a more convenient time. If you wait for all the conditions to be just right, you’ll never move in the right direction. Make a decision to just do it! The time is NOW!

TODAY you will either be saying to yourself "WELCOME TO YOUR FUNERAL" or "WELCOME TO THE FIRST DAY OF YOUR BEST LIFE." The choice is yours...

24 May, 2017

Keep Doing This And You A Sure Of Never Being Rich
Happy Daniel00:00 0 Comments



"A part of all you earn is yours to keep, if you cannot save money, the seed of greatness is not in you." - W. Clement Stone

In the book of proverbs, it is written..
"Go to the ant, you sluggard,consider her ways and be wise..."


We interpret this as over working and doing our very best in what we find to do not being lazy. But the question is, through all our labor, hard work and hustle, do we have anything to show for it? No! Why? Because we lack the discipline of Saving Money.

The fact remains that the ant works hard and gathers enough food but never eats up everything they gather today. They ALWAYS save some for the future. This means when you work hard without saving a part of your earnings for the future, you will have nothing to show for the amount of years you've worked nor the amount of labor/energy you've exerted. This is why many retired persons begin to beg and rely on their children after retirement. Plan your future today by saving part of your earnings because that's what the ants do.

Many people are daily, weekly, monthly and yearly victims of the Parkinson's Law. Have you heard of the Parkinson's Law? I will tell you. It states that "Expenses rise to meet income." 


It means no matter how much you tend to earn, you tend to spend that much. But this only happens IF you permit it. There is never a good day to save money. There is never a good day where you will have more than enough to save. There is always something to do with money. This is why it is so important to stop giving the sick excuse of "it is not even enough for my needs! How then can I save?" and go ahead to save and invest a part of all you earn.✍️
#MoneyWednesday
#VoiceOfADream

06 December, 2016

Expectations That Will Hurt You In Your Relationship
vDreams12:26 0 Comments


"... But for Adam there was not found a help met for him " - Genesis 2:20

The only thing that makes a relationship exciting and lovely is when you enter into one with a mindset of "What can I do to add value and worth?" Rather than, "What are all the things I can get from this?"


Every minute you spend thinking up new ways and new ideas to spice up your relationship makes you loose the consciousness of being "totally" self centered and creates in you an excitement thinking of the new things you are about to introduce into your relationship. This mindset alone drives boredom far from you as your mind is busy exploring new things. Every relationship got bad or good right from the onset. Why? The mindset. 

When you enter a relationship with the mind of "What can I offer or contribute?" you always feel happier, stronger and more courageous. Not that bad times won't come. Bad times are bound to come and they will. But you will always have what to offer to solve the challenge. Your partner only gets better, happier and stronger because of you – your mindset. 

But when we enter into a relationship with the mind of "I want someone who..." (complete it for yourself), everything will always go wrong. These are the people that talk about compatibility in a relationship. 


Truly speaking, there is no need for compatibility in relationships. I mean compatibility in the sense of self absorbed concerns and not mutual benefits. This is what creates the room you need to fill in your partners world - the imperfections of your partner. And, Yes, the person you are in a relationship with has a world of their own! Just because they are with you doesn't make their world gone and forgotten. 


What is missing or lacking in the life of your partner is what you should be filling up NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT! Relationship should be to compliment not to complete. Relationships is about two whole people merging into one. Not two incomplete, half bred fellows looking for who to make them whole.

Don't try to be like your partner and don't try to make them be like you. Help then bring out the best of who they "already are". Yes! Who they are deep within! Have you ever heard "when you love a woman right, she becomes ten times more of whatever you give her"? I believe it and I think the same works for a man.
Partners in a relationship are not duplicates of each other but one! How? When they fill in the missing gap in each others world .

"No man feels comfortable in the arms of a woman who behaves like him "
- T. D. Jakes (The lady, Her lover and Her Lord)

Tips: Get off the high horse of "I want someone who will give me...make me...buy me..." and smell the roses of I want someone who I can give this...and make that...and buy those...." Stop complaining! Start appreciating. If you are still unsure what to expect in a relationship read this.

Still working on the Book "Stuff No One Told You About Loving And Being Loved". Read some excerpts here...