You
cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude
toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change
rather than allowing it to master you. ~ Brian Tracy
Everyone
always wants to be in control of his/her life at every point in time, but only
a very few can actually ever be. They are those who have discovered that they
are the sons of their own works and architect of their own fortune. Being in
control of your life is not about demanding for more space or more
independence. It’s about realizing and being in control of yourself. Nothing
beats that kind of freedom, knowing you are not control by everyone’s actions
and behavioral patterns.
Every teenager
wants at some point independences, every country wants to be free at some point,
and every slave wants to become a master at some point. Every one of these people craves just for one thing that sometimes they
do not know and that is - to be in control of their life. The one thing that no one can take away from you unless you decide to give it away is how you choose to respond to situations - to things people do to you. That is what
freedom means, being in control of your life even when others so much want to
control you. And the good news is, you do not need anyone’s permit to be in
control of your life.
Freedom is what you do with what has been done to you.
It doesn’t
matter if you are a slave serving under a master, it doesn’t matter if you are
a worker with a cruel employer, it doesn’t matter if you are in a bossy
relationship, it doesn’t matter if you grew up in a strict home. All that
matters is you should know that you could always be in total control of your
life in every moment if only you choose to be.
No matter
how bad people treat you, and how much you want them to see how hurt you are don't lose your freedom. So, does that mean you always have to be in a
bad and displeasing, bitter resentful mood always because they have refused or
can’t realize it? No! That is not freedom. That’s you selling yourself to them.
Someone once defined freedom as what you
do with what has been done to you. That’s what freedom, is truly speaking.
The sum total of your responds and reactions to what has been done to you.
You cannot
always be on the fence, remember. You can either always choose to be sad or
happy when scolded. You can always choose to be angry or smiling when insulted.
You can always to be argumentative or listening when you are in a conversation.
You see! It’s always up to you to decide. It wasn’t his decision that made you
that angry, it wasn’t her words that made you that sad, it was you who choose
to be that sad and angry. It was always
your choice.
Here are
three things you must never lose control over if you ever want to control your
life and keep it from being stirred y the small rudder in the mouth of everyone
on the face of the earth. Learn to control them, and you will not only be happy
with your life but you will also always be happy.
1.Your Verbal Reactions:
No matter
how bad you truly want to say something to him/her at the heat of the moment,
it will be wise to hold it off, swallow it and banish it from your thoughts. Don't forget to banish it from your thought! I
realized that every time people opened their mouth negatively in “rightful” respond to anything, the worst always
happens. Things don’t always cool off, rather they always heat up the more! No
matter what you are saying and wishing they would see the sense and wisdom in
you getting upset and letting it show in your words, they don’t always do. Everything you say wrong in that moment is
what always stays and lingers long after the whole episode of what happened.
Does that
make you feel in control of your life? You may be tempted to say, “Yes, after
all I gave him/her a piece of my mouth also.” But just hold on a bit, did it
actually solve the problem in a way that sooths you best? I don’t think it did.
So you see, it’s just like worrying. Wouldn’t it be even better not to have
worried at all than begin to worry and waiting for the problem to just end? You
may say, “That’s worrying, this is talking.” But what’s the difference? You
always feel the worst pains in both instances. It would just be better to not
speak at all than speak and get yourself into more bad feelings. You always
lose control of yourself the more you open your mouth in anger. And every word that
flows from your mouth brings with it another degree of anger and hurt. Can you deny
that? Control your verbal responds.
2.Your Emotional Reactions:
It is always
your choice to do whatever you will with everything happening around you. Whether
you realize it or not, you always choose to be angry or calm, happy or sad,
hasty or slow. It’s always been you alone doing it. It doesn’t matter what
happens, always choose to keep your calm. Choose to be happy. Choose to be
smiling.
I realized how
much my beliefs contributed to my emotional reactions to things and decided to
do something about it. And what did I do about it you will ask. I decided to
see the world in general differently. Am not going to have time to explain all
that but am telling you, it has made me very different. Many people see the
world as a wicked place and because of that, everything bad that happens to
them means the people who caused it are wicked and so deserve pay back. But
they don’t think the same when people make them happy! So, I decide to see the world as a funny place rather than a wicked
place. And you know the funny part? People never take me seriously anymore. Lol. And I must say, my negative emotional responds has always been in
check, because instead of seeing people as wicked and bad who need same
treatment, I saw them as ignorant and funny who need knowledge and lot of love.
Try it.
3.Your Mood Reactions:
I call it
the Mood Swing Epidemic, very contagious and sometimes airborne. Yeah! You really
need to be careful if you want to be in control of your life so you don’t
contact this epidemic. You cannot always let every little thing throw you into
an instance mood swing. I watch people you are lost in the far away land of
happiness suddenly relocating to the damned land of sadness. And people in the
far away beautiful citadel of serenity called calmness and mindfulness suddenly
flown to the abode of anger and terrible annoyance. It feels so bad.
How do I
know? I have been there many years of my life. I use to allow myself drift into
the abyss of anger and continuous sadness over every little thing that happen
around me. Whether it’s someone who hurt me, says something really hard, or a
sad memory just resurfaced in my head, I was always prone to get caught in the
web of mood swing even before I noticed it.
No matter how far away I was in the land of happiness and calmness, I wouldn’t take long to be sulking and wallowing in the pit of sadness and annoyance with myself and everyone around me. That was me giving my power of control over to others to do it for me. And they did a really good job in helping me prolong it until I was exhausted. You cannot allow yourself to be caught up in that mood no matter how bad things go. If you must be in control of your life, learn to stay on one side of your mood - happiness and calmness. If you have never done it, begin it from now and see how much happiness you will end up making available for yourself- and others around you. Better of it, you will always be in control of the whole situation and you.
No matter how far away I was in the land of happiness and calmness, I wouldn’t take long to be sulking and wallowing in the pit of sadness and annoyance with myself and everyone around me. That was me giving my power of control over to others to do it for me. And they did a really good job in helping me prolong it until I was exhausted. You cannot allow yourself to be caught up in that mood no matter how bad things go. If you must be in control of your life, learn to stay on one side of your mood - happiness and calmness. If you have never done it, begin it from now and see how much happiness you will end up making available for yourself- and others around you. Better of it, you will always be in control of the whole situation and you.
You learnt something today? Please be kind enough to comment and share your thoughts too. Yours may make more meaning than this stuff here. Thank you! #VoiceOfADream
