The Happiness You Don't Create You Don't Share vDreams13:32 0 Comments

Everyone always seems to be complaining about how unhappy someone else actions, behaviors, dressing, reactions and on and on and on is always getting on their nerves and making them unhappy. Well, it happens to everyone at some stage in life and to some, all through their lifetime. But honestly speaking, this is not the way things are actually supposed to be if you must be an always smiling person free from resentment and so much hate for others.
 

They people who complain about how bad they feel because of some other person’s actions are those who do not know just how to grow happiness for themselves. They get their emotions- good or bad, from the action sand reactions of someone else’s action. This is you allowing yourself to be controlled by others unknown to you. You are not in control of your life when you choose to live in this way.

I used to be a huge victim of this sort of life for a very long time, when people always made me feel bad by their way of rash and unkind way of talking. People who are rude in their behaviors always get on my nerves every time. And, the worst part of it was, they never felt anything wrong about what they were doing! It was so hurting.

Until one day I realized that I could actually control my reactions to things if I could choose to control my emotions rather than letting it controlled by other people’s actions and behaviors. And like Viktor Frankl said,"The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance." 

When I could do this, I asked myself, “What if you choose to control the whole situation by being in positive control of everything rather than always letting the negative win?” That was just it, I could control my emotions, I could control my reactions and I could control how long the tensed atmosphere created as a result of whatever happened lasted.

It is important to know how to grow happiness beneath your feet if you must l]be in control of your life at all times. Here are some tips I actually practiced and developed into a conscious routine.

1. Things Are Not Always The Way They Appear.

The mistake many people make just before they cannot hold it any longer and let it all out is, when they always choose to see everything just as it appears. Such people will always tell you, “For me, everything is always as it seems, black and white. Let us call a spade a spade!” Yeah. Sometime you may have to, but not always; especially, in situations you know will have a lasting effect on your emotions and mood.

You cannot afford to accommodate such emotions if you are someone like me. I hate to feel bad and will do everything to see that it never happens. I don’t have room to store them!

No matter how everything looks, things are never always the way they appear to be. See them so. You are the one who can choose to see what you want to see in the whole situation. It’s your choice. And in that way, you are in control of yourself and everything about you. You don’t need others to detect to you the way you should feel about the situation. Choose what you want to feel!

2. Stop Giving Negative Interpretations To What People Choose To Do

Choosing to give endless list of negative interpretations to what people always choose to do is like digging or building a storeroom in your heart for negative and self-defeating thoughts. Stop thinking in your head why they did what they did; why they should even have done it, because the more you do, the more you realize that you are getting hurt within. You begin to feel this slowly and steadily growing flame of hate and bitterness deep within you.

The truth is, people do what they do not because of you, but because of themselves. So why do you have to kill yourself with worry and negative feeling for what someone did because of them? You should also be choosing to do something that will be best for you - choose to be happy. Choose to be in control of your emotions. Let them worry about their actions, they didn’t do it for you but to sooth themselves. To help them feel better.

3. People Will Never Be You

Did you know that? If you are a nice fellow, who loves to treat others with respect and courtesy, you should really consider revising your thinking that people will ever be like you. They can’t. Stop thinking that people will ever be live you, stop trying to think that they can do for you the things you can do for them. 

When you think this way, you will stop trying to be controlling. And you will stop struggling to make people be like you. All the pains you should actually have felt from too much expectation, you won’t have to feel them. You just miss them all. People will never be like you, so stop expecting them to do for you the things you can do for them. Do so much good for everyone, spread kind deeds and kind words, buuuuuuuut, don’t expect anything in return; especially, that they treat you in the same way. You will be a happy fellow living like this.

Begin growing happiness under your feet as you go from day to day. I will share more tips with you on later post.