A lot of people still struggle with life on daily basis. Something they were born to see, and have all come to accept and believe that it is “the way of thing for everyone”. And some whose suffering in life is so intense, believe that it is their fate. Their constant feeling of unhappiness, depression, failure, disappointment, set backs, etc. strangles the joy of wanting to see every new day. They always seem to worry about a lot and hardly any time to smile or even laugh about anything.
They believe that good fortune was only meant for
some people who were born with it, the other set are those who have power to
change their fate through unjust means and the last part, which they consider
themselves to belong to, are those who were never born with a star of any kind.
They curse their existence.
After much trial and failure on their part, they
will always resort to religious believes so they can freely justify their
thoughts and the reason for their woes. The lack every ounce of faith in any
possibility that just as some people are living their lives every moment to the
fullest with great satisfaction, they too can do same. And maybe, even become
better. They move from one form of religious pattern and doctrine to another,
armed with one simple reason: to justify their fate. Fate they have decided for
themselves.
This people are just existent but not living,
because to them, their lives make no meaning in any way and so, the struggle
continues. Life keeps pushing them further and further into the corner. And
their best reactions?
They exert the feeling on anyone around them, making thing more and more difficult for themselves.
They exert the feeling on anyone around them, making thing more and more difficult for themselves.
There is absolutely no happiness in life when you
are busy struggling with it every day. Life makes no meaning for you, if, when
it pushes you, you don’t push back by getting up to do something to get out of
there but rather resort to transferring the aggression on people, family, your
job, your friends etc. and all you always ever feel is bitter resentment. You cannot
even give or take love!
Someone once said, “You cannot achieve anything in
this word unless you come live in a utopia”. Now, I find this to be very
interesting to know. There was a time in my life I was actually struggling with
life. And as it kept pushing me so hard, everything around me was going bad,
because I was busy transferring it on everything and everything around me. I was
not living in harmony. Utopia means an ideal and perfect place or state where everyone
lives in perfect harmony and everything is for the best! I was not living in
this perfect state; therefore, everything around me was just a sad reflection
of me.
To get past this struggling with life and make any
meaning out of living, one must learn to embrace life and not fight it. Trying
to push back on life destroys everything around us, because the only life there
is are the things around us and everyone around us. And pushing back on life
means pushing on these things! Embracing life everyday just as it comes; noting
how much every action of our life contributes to our general success is the key.
The state of getting past this struggle and embracing life is “living in
harmony.”
It is therefore impossible to achieve anything in
this world without holding a certain degree of harmonious existence. Bring your
life to a state of perfect harmony with everything and everyone. This was a
lesson I learned from a long struggle with life in other to make any meaning
out of it.
I learnt three important principles that are helping
me embrace that life every new day.
Trying to change things that cannot actually be
change, sometimes at that moment or maybe in a lifetime is another thing that
puts you on the everyday struggle with life. So many circumstances cannot be
change. It is always so sad that there is nothing we can do about these things.
Thinking that we can and going all the way to exert your time and energy wouldn’t
do any good. Worrying about them cannot change them. For instance, there is nothing
you can do about a boisterous rain, falling on a day you want to hold an
important outdoor event! The best you can do is to see the best in it and make
the most of the time while you pray and hope that it stops soonest.
Adjusting to fit the situation we find ourselves is
the best way to get yourself of the hook of chaotic experience. Do not try to
change people who see no need for change rather adjust to fit their person. Love them for who they are but more importantly, for who you hope they will become.
And if they begin the road to change, never forget
to give them sincere compliments for their improvement. If they fail, compliment
them before you criticize them. When you force people to change, they can only
do that for a short while.
When we try to make people like us, we always run
into big problems. Human beings naturally always sulk whenever some acts
towards them in a manner that says, “I am better than you. Why not try to be like me.” Most rebellious
teenagers we have tday is as a direct result of this treatment from their
parent. Parent who always want their children to be like them and making it so
obvious that their children’s life is not up to standard make this so difficult
for them. It is even much more preferable to point them to some successes but
never compare them with those you think better than them. This goes for all
human beings: the natural tendency to withdraw in instances like this.
Judging people based on the way we see ourselves is
a wrong of meting out judgment to people. Not everyone can be as good, patient,
honest etc. as you are. Do not use yourself as a yardstick to measure their
performances. Trying to think that everyone is as you thereby making you always
expecting him or her to do for you the very things you can do for them always
gets us feeling bad. And if we keep our focus here too long, we always want to
push back by becoming like them, and treating them just the same way they treat
us. That should not be. Having this understanding is very crucial to living in
harmony, as you won’t always expect much from people. This does not mean you
should avoid doing things for these people, it means you should try becoming an
altruist even.
Always expecting people to be like us is never
possible. They may try to be but can never be you. Do not always expect
everyone to love or like you, just the same way you like him or her and treat him
or her well. Do things for people without expecting them and burdening them to
become like you. People will not always be you, so do not expect them to do for
you the things you can do for them.
I have borne several witnesses to many relationships
break up simply because someone was trying to be controlling. No one really
likes to be controlled; even babies do not like it! When we try to control
people, it is like backing them up against a tight corner, they will always react.
And this reaction does disrupt a lot of peaceful and harmonious existence.
Always trying to tell people how to do things, how to live their lives, how to
solve problems, though it is good, but it sometimes just make them feel as if
you are in charge of their whole life. And believe me, lot of people don’t like
to feel that way!
Everyone want to live free. Freedom is a concept
every living thing was born with and they always intend to keep it that way.
They want to be free to think, the want to be free to make their choices, they
want to be free to make mistakes. Everyone wants to be free. I have not come
across one single living thing that wants or loves to be controlled. Watch the
reaction animals take when it seems as if they are backed into a tight corner
and left without a choice! They will find a way, in either their death or your
injury or even possibly, death! It is just natural.
They best you can do is offer advice. And if they
don’t ask for it, keep to yourself. Just because someone told you their problem
doesn’t mean they want you to solve it for them. Even when people ask for your
advice, be cautious the way you go about answering them. Do not speak like
someone who has the blue print of his or her life! Because you do not! If you
want to live in harmony, try not to be domineering especially, when it is not
called for. You could hate yourself for it.
