The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
- Bertrand Russell
Many years ago I had the distinct honor of caring for people in the Hospice Program as they were nearing the end of their lives. There are so many stories I could share but the one that is always foremost on my mind is the story of Marian and Jack.
Marian was dying from cancer and was sent home to
die in the comfort of her own home with the person she loved most in this
world, her husband, Jack. I arrived at their home not knowing how long my
services would be needed.
There was this immediate sense of love and peace that
I couldn't identify with at the time since I was going through a divorce after 27
years of marriage.
After introducing ourselves we sat in their very
modest living room and began to become acquainted. Marian had lost her hair
from the chemo with just a few whispy strands here and there. She had a faded
dress and ratty looking sweater on with worn slippers. Jack looked like he had
slept in his clothes for days. But what was most notable were their smiles. Not
smiles like you see in teeth whitening ads. Their smiles were honest, sincere
and genuine and drew me right into their world!
They began by asking me about my life and family and
what made me happy?? I didn't honestly know what made me happy any more. Then
they proceeded to tell me about how they met almost 50 years ago, their
courtship, marriage, careers, traveling adventures, their son's
accomplishments, homes where they lived in different parts of the world and
people they met that inspired them. I was captivated by their stories since I
rarely left the small town I grew up in but dreamed of the traveling the world.
But what drew my attention most was how they finished each other's sentences
with such big smiles and long glances into each other's eyes. I know this is
crazy but I actually saw sparks flying above their heads in some unworldly
fashion? And then I realized I was in the presence of something very
rare…..soul love!! They didn't see the rumpled clothes, or not so straight
teeth or lack of hair…..they saw each other's souls!
Marian died 48 hours later and Jack handled it with
such beauty and grace and said to me, "death doesn't end our connection it
just takes it to another level"!
Weeks later I stopped by to see how Jack was doing
and he said, "I must show you something"! He went to the basement and
brought out an old blackboard from years ago and showed me the message written
on it…."I will love you forever!" Signed, Marian. And then we went to
the piano and he played and sang a very lively rendition of an old Irish
song…"I'll take you home again, Kathleen"…just for me!
Some people are in our lives for years and others
for days maybe hours but it is how that time is spent that is most important. I
know my 48 hours with Marian and Jack was a gift from the Universe and I will
be eternally grateful!
The bluebird of happiness crystal given to me by Jack!
About Kathy Smith
Kathy Smith has always loved writing and talking since she was a child, but never considered
sharing it with others, but now, she really feels it's time to share with those
who may find these stories interesting, funny, sad, crazy, relatable and
inspiring. You can read her lovely stories on her Life And Laughter blog here.
Kathy Smith has always loved writing and talking since she was a child, but never considered
sharing it with others, but now, she really feels it's time to share with those
who may find these stories interesting, funny, sad, crazy, relatable and
inspiring. You can read her lovely stories on her Life And Laughter blog here.
